© Alex Chew
In the course of a romantic relationship, trust and sense of security plays a major role in determining the direction of the relationship. Without the sense of security, a romantic relationship will fall apart as soon as it started. Healthy couples requires a feeling of security in their relationship and if will be very hard for any couples to maintain a relationship if they do not trust each other. Although it is always true to say that if we do nothing wrong, then there is nothing for us to be afraid of. However the phrase may not be always true when it comes to relationship as couples may wrongly interpret the needs of security in their relationship. Different people may have different definition or feeling of trusts in a relationship and therefore it is important for a couple to agree on a certain ground in this matter. While sense of security or trust may take time to form but it will be always easier if we know how to deal with it. Below are 5 areas you can work on to increase the sense of security in your relationship.
1) Safe Communication
The first step to security in relationship is to build healthy and save communication. Both you and your partners must feel safe to tell each other what you feel and think in your relationship. You must also be able to listen to, understand and affirm with your partner’s feeling and vice-versa. This means that you and your partner must learn how to identify, label and communicate your feelings effectively across to each other.
2) Refrain from Pre-Judgement
In the course of your relationship, there will be times when you do not understand your partner, why he/she acted the way they did and/or why he/she feel certain way that you cannot comprehend. It is important that you stay calm as such feeling is completely normal in a relationship. However when such things happens, you must refrain yourself from pre-judging the event by calling your partner crazy, stupid and etc. This will indirectly break the sense of security that your partner has for you. Instead support their temporary behavior by affirming it and encourage them to let it out on you and at the same time assuring them that it is safe to do so.
3) Room for Partner to Express Feeling
In addition to the above, you must also provide the room for your partner to express their feeling freely and safely regardless the situation. Regardless whether, your partner is happy, sad, excited and etc, you must allow them to express it even though you are not feeling the same. Therefore it is important to learn that you cannot forbid, dictate nor criticize your partner’s feeling at any time when your feeling is not in tune with theirs.
4) Understanding Your Partner
Understanding your partner is the best way to improve the sense of security in your relationship. In other word, we must always understand what is our partner’s feeling or view on the subject. Every people have different expectation on sense of security when it comes to relationship due to past experience and therefore it is important for you to realize this fact. In order to have mutual and better understanding on sense of security, you must discuss it with your partner with open heart. Perhaps, the best way to be trusted is to be truthful to yourself and as well as your partner.
5) Support Each Other Emotionally
Finally, the most important security factor in a relationship is the ability of the couple in providing emotional support to each other. Learning to read or identifying your partner’s emotional level at any given point of time is the first step to emotional support. The next step is learning to give the appropriate emotional support the moment you detect any emotional changes in your partner. The ability to detect and support your partner’s emotion will make a big difference in your relationship especially when it comes to trust.
The above five steps will help you to improve the sense of security in your relationship. They may look difficult to be practiced but with sheer determination and patience, you can do it with ease as it will becomes easier and easier when you start to see improvement in your relationship.
