© T.W. Winslow
These are five things that you already know to do, things you instinctively knew to do when he was falling in love with you, but maybe, lately, you’ve gotten out of the habit. You can put a little pizzazz into your relationship if you give them a try...and then make them a habit.
1) Instead of complaining, whining, or raising your voice, speak softly with clear and concise language.
How do you do that? Before you “react” stop for however long you need so you can collect yourself, and then plan what you want to say. Sometimes I even write down what I need to communicate so it gets locked in. Then, when it’s time to talk about it, I ask that I be allowed to finish before he speaks. It works amazingly well.
How do you do that? Before you “react” stop for however long you need so you can collect yourself, and then plan what you want to say. Sometimes I even write down what I need to communicate so it gets locked in. Then, when it’s time to talk about it, I ask that I be allowed to finish before he speaks. It works amazingly well.
Benefit to you? You will get his attention, his cooperation, and his respect.
Why does it work? Men need clear, concise, unemotional language to be able to hear you. Otherwise, they shut it out completely. And we all know how good they can be at doing that.
2) Look for ways that he makes you happy and let him know . . . regularly.
Some examples might be: “It makes me happy that you like solving my problems,” or, “It make me happy that you tell me you love me,” or, “It makes me happy that you help with the kids...and they love it.” Did you notice the “happy” word? If you’ve read my book, you know how important it is to him that you are happy. Using the “happy” word to make requests and to praise works wonders. Try it.
Benefit to you? He’ll start looking for more ways to make you happy.
Why does it work? If you’re not happy he feels like a failure and men hate to fail.
3) Appreciate him often, especially for his masculine qualities and those things you know he likes about himself, things he’s proud of.
Examples could be: “I really appreciate what a nice home you’ve been able to give us, thank you,” or, “I love how strong you are. I like watching you work,” or, “The way you make love to me is so perfect, mmmmmm.” On page 44, 2nd paragraph of Men Made Easy: “The masculine virtues that me value the most are strength, sexual power, courage, being successful, making money, being a protector, and being a good father.”
Benefit to you? He’ll fall in love each time you do it and he’ll make him feel like a hero. (The last secret is “A man wants to be with a woman who makes him feel like a man.”)
Why does it work? Men compete with other men and need to measure up. You can validate his worth as a man.
4) Give him romantic kisses instead of pecks.
Long hello kisses tell him you’re glad to see him, long good-bye kisses tell him you can’t wait until he returns, long thank-you kisses tell him you really appreciate what he did for you, and “hey you, kiss me” kisses tell him you want him.
Benefit to you? He’ll feel more connected to you and look forward to being with you.
Why does it work? Physical connection is the only way most men know how to be intimate and you’re the only one with whom it’s okay to be intimate.
5) Flirt with him.
Be playful, tease him, say slightly naughty things once in a while, gaze into his eyes with a “come here, big boy” twinkle.
Benefit to you? You’ll both feel younger, friskier, and more in love.
Why does it work? Flirting is fun and we can all use more fun.
EDITOR'S NOTE You can find more of Kara's advice at AliveWithLove.com. Kara is the best selling author of Men Made Easy, Women Made Easy and Everlasting Love.
